Do You Know When Your Partner is in the Mood for Sex?

You may know many important things about your partner including reading habits, Netflix password, and preferred beverage. You may know their favorite style of underwear, their zodiac sign, and the name of their hometown. But do you know the answer to the all-important question of how to tell when your […]

The Unexpected Relationship Between Your Emotions and Sex - The Good Men  Project

You may know many important things about your partner including reading habits, Netflix password, and preferred beverage. You may know their favorite style of underwear, their zodiac sign, and the name of their hometown. But do you know the answer to the all-important question of how to tell when your paramour is in the mood for sex?

The Guessing Game

An interesting thing happens on the way to long-term relationships. Studies have shown that at the initial courtship stages, you know, in a bar at last call, the audience of a poetry reading, or the aisle of the local home-improvement store, guys tend to over-estimate a women’s interest in them.

It makes sense, looking at the origins of human dynamics, that if one of the purposes of heterosexual coupling is the propagation of the species it is more productive to see an opportunity that may or may not be there and to err on the side of the action than to miss on an opportunity for action that could lead to a night of pleasure and passing on those excellent genes.

However, once in a long-term relationship, guys tend to miss many cues that their partner is in the mood. Tonight, could very well be the night.

Women, according to studies, are pretty sharp at reading the cues that their partner is in the mood. Of course, it could help that if a woman begins a sentence with “You wanna…” the answer will be affirmative. A woman will often go out on a limb and guess that a man wants to have sex. A guy will wonder, “Who knows what she’s thinking…wait, is this a test?”

One reason men might underperceive a long-term partner’s sexual interest is to avoid sexual rejection. If you don’t try, you can’t fail. This fear of rejection may have an upside: It could inspire a man to romance, seduce, and bring his best game into play.

Signs That Your Lover is In the Mood

There are signs and signifiers that your partner is in the mood. These signs work for men, women, and non-binary partners.

  • If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a sexy selfie, a naughty voicemail, or a tantalizing text may mean pretty much just what you think they mean.
  • An invitation to spend some quality time together might include an evening of wining and dining, dancing, or a weekend away.
  • Your partner points out something that she/he thinks is exciting and asks your opinion about what turns you on.
  • Clearing time on the calendar and asking you to take time off, too, could be an indication that your lover desires some bedroom action.
  • A very touchy paramour may be reaching out to create more intimate friction. hand-holding, foot massages, and backrubs could be building to more intimate caresses and orgasmic climaxes.
  • Playfulness can be provocative. Be aware of that long-simmering glance, a stroke on the back of the hand, an invitation to dance in the kitchen, or to share a shower could invite more play.
  • When the conversation touches upon things romantic and sensual, the sexual might be next. Whether it’s a scene from a film or a bit of dialogue from a book, this could be a way of bringing up the topic of trying something new and novel between the sheets.
  • A sizzling piece of come-hither clothing or a new sex toy could mean “I want you.”
  • Your partner flat out says the magic words that start with a “yes” and culminate in a night of sexual bliss.

Following simple sex tips for women and incorporating new things into your repertoire can help intimacy reach a fevered pitch. Communication takes many forms; be receptive and this could be your night of sexual connection!

Melissa M. Taylor

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